it’s odd the things that come to your mind… in ny maran was trying to make me play her what if? game and when she asked me who i would be in another life i said i would be from the 60s, that i wanted to be the girl that songs were written about. she didn’t get my rationale, but her uncle did and refrenced the freewheelin’ bob dylan cover.
we’re both such fancy talkers…
so i haven’t seen one of my best friends in like 2 weeks at least. last night i see him and as he is stepping out of his car i think damn he’s hot. then i’m like what is wrong with me. then i remember that i once thought we would help each other out of our current positions. funny how some people don’t want to be saved from the fire…
the convo that should be used for my version of a raymond carver story, filled with all the false hopes, etc...
- guy: what
- me: um. sorry to bother u...was just gonna see how things were going.
- guy: i feel like shit. how you and (insert name of friend i had a drunken hook-up with) doin
- me: u ok? why do you feel like shit? and ha. youre so damn funny. were friends. people get plastered. and do stupid things.
- guy: i feel like shit i dont want to talk about have a decent life
- me: im sorry. and what? what did i do? can u please explain that to me?
- guy: what did u do lol i am a fucked up lying piece of shit and i just relapsed i got alot bigger problems then how you feel just leave me alone you dont want (i think the word "to") know me
- me: im not trying to pry into your life or make things worse. i just wanted to know why the hell u said what u did. ill leave u alone whatever but im always going to be here.
young. half-asian. great body. cute face. hilarious. sweet. potential best friend.
i’ve let a lot of good things walk in and out of my life in the past few years. i’ve messed quite a few things up too. sometimes i realize my mistakes when they are happening…not quite sure how to fix it though.
now it’s guitars, cadillacs, hillbilly music, and lonely lonely streets i call home…
so in the past three days i have made hollandaise, parma rosa pasta sauce, and just finished a batch of keylime bars. i don’t cook. like ever. i can always tell when there’s a lot on my mind. i even scrubbed the kitchen floor yesterday. i’ve also been listening to a hell of alot of dwight yoakam tunes.
men driving around without shirts on
one of my favorite things about summer. even the guys with beer bellies. not sure why, but i’m sure i love it.
remember me to one who lives there for she once was a true love of mine…
so i’ve spent quite a bit of time doing everything possible to keep my mind off things. yesterday i spent a nice chunk of time looking through vinyls in a flea market. i finally selected three-one of which was the freewheelin’ bob dylan…so glad to have it in its original form.
i say this a lot, but i have a new favorite dylan song. girl from the north country. it has all the longing and sense of loss as many of his other songs i love so much, but this song lacks any sort or bitterness or regret. absolutely beautiful. it is everything i love about dylan. poetic. simple in the best ways. i also love that the first few notes of the song are a bit decpetive in that they seem to be fitting for a far happier song.
this is the way i want to remember everybody.
home is whenever i’m with you…
it’s almost 1 am…
i’m on my way to being fully plastered…
texting a thirty-some year old man (that i might be leading on…i hope not) about bob dylan…
thinking about the poetry that i can’t muster up the courage to write…
feeling like i’m forgetting to do something important…
and everytime i get up and go inside my cat starts meowing frantically and bumping against the door. i don’t think she wants to be alone tonight. i don’t blame her.
this is what my life has come to.
this is a video from a concert back in december. i fell in love with the song back then because it was so perfect and beautiful and it’s been playing through my head ever since. andy hull says it far better than i’ve ever been able to.
**thanks to the person who posted this video. the live version is even more brilliant than the recorded one. the lyrics. geeze.**
since you took my breath again, would you share your oxygen?
sitting in local 506 last night waiting for the heartless bastards to play…
some religious sects say that it is what you want to see that is your heaven.
some believe in a waiting period…much like limbo…but not for a bad reason…just a place you are before you move on.
the room is dark. i’m sitting on a bar bench against the wall and there are only a few people scattered around. bon iver is playing and it is all very quiet. we are all waiting for something. we are all here from different places, but there is a bond. we are here for the same thing. i feel this is what that limbo must be like.
more people trickle in and bon iver is taken over by voices. some who have never spoken before to one another. and then the band takes the stage and there is a sense of shared exhaltation that takes over the crowd. and everything that was going on in your mind before is replaced by this. these next moments and everything else slips away.
i hope this is what i see…
